But then, I start to rationalize . . . “Hey, maybe I do know stuff.” Well, at least I know what’s going on in my own mind and body. That counts for something, right?
Today, what’s going on in my mind and body is a little more stillness than usual. Last night I ran with the East Nasty crew, then had pizza, a salad, and a Schlitz tallboy before heading home to bed at 10. When I woke up, I felt rested for the first time in weeks. Sleep matters.
Monday through yesterday afternoon of this week I was on edge. I wasn’t sure why, but love to speculate about my health. This morning it came to me. I haven’t had caffeine for the last two days.
This is a sticky subject with me. I have a natural lean toward having a buzz and being a tad compulsive about it. During my college years it was beer. For hangovers I drank water.
I used to give my buddies a lot of shit for slamming down soda (we called it pop). I never drank coffee, either, unless it was to be cool on all night exam crams. But a few years after college, I started a business and became a Mountain Dew whore.
I pounded yellow juice all day long and was typically short tempered, though I knew that wasn’t acting like “me.” I never openly associated my crankiness and lethargy to the drug. In Alcoholics Anonymous they say that “Alcohol is cunning and baffling,” but now I’m starting to think the same can be said for caffeine (or any addictive substance).
Of course, this isn’t for everyone to hear. I have a tendency to overdo things. Like pound not one, but two large coffees in search for that edge. I’m not even sure if I’ll stop or not, but have decided to turn that one over to a higher power.